Live, Love, Meditate | Nov. 2019

A Letter to My Future Self

7 min readDec 15, 2019

Dear Zake,

I’m the 26-year-old of you from 2019, how have you been? Since 2015, I decide to take a day every month to reflect on work, life and mental clarity.

This is the 49th mail I’m sending to you.

November — Live, Love, Meditate

I’ve been on consecutive business trip for the past 3 weeks, I tried to finish this review on the plane, at hotel, but none of them work. I eventually always find myself doing something else, and coming up with new excuses of putting off again and again.

And according to the book I’m currently reading this month, Indistractable by Nir Eyal, I seem to have a false understanding on willpower:

Willpower is not a finite resource but instead acts like an emotion, just as we don’t “run out” of joy or anger, willpower ebbs and flows in response to what’s happening to us and how we feel…

Our body is able to adjust themselves to fit our needs and use, most of the time.

And most of people have been using this as an ultimate shield for not achieving what they set up to do in new year resolution, finding excuses for relaxing or autopiloting, instead of what will really help them grow and succeed.

Because to grow, is constantly seeking for the uncomfortable.

I named this review “Live, Love, Mediate” for a reason. In November, I think about the priorities in life, and find myself slightly changing the relationship between work and my personal life.

So, I’d also love to change the sections below, from work and life, to product management, self discovery. Together, they’re called life.

I realize there’s actually no work and life difference. If you are putting into different categories in your mind, usually means that you are not enjoying your work.

For example, to create a 30-day challenge video every month, I have to think about a cool challenge topic that good for my own health but fun to watch, write video scripts, figure out the lightning, document what I learn, what I feel and what I want to share every day, shoot A/B roll footages myself and sometimes record voiceover if I need to, then edit and color grade all the clips, create a really nice thumbnail that might attract more people to click and upload to several video platforms…

So besides the challenge, I need to put at least 60–80 hours for creating a video. You cannot ignore the fact this is 60–80 hours of work you put in every month, to make a video happen.

Product Management

Deal with interruptions

As a product manager, one of the key strengths is reviewing and finding ways to improve the current solutions.

Smartphone manufacturers usually run their product development by project or each module, beneath it are multiple stages and sprints for a specific task that need to accomplish.

One of the biggest challenge I find during work, is that it is really difficult to have personal block time that could be used for deep thinking. As the company is growing rapidly worldwide, more people are involved and have overlap with you, which means you would receive more interruptions.

We usually tend to only focus on the things and goals we are working on, and be blinded of what our action might affect the company’s vision in a bigger picture.

For example, when you have a questions during work, try ask yourself, do I have to ask and interrupt this person right now? Can I save it, and come back to him with all the questions I have?

In this way, you are not only helping yourself keep focus and be more productive, but make other people the same.

Speak truth

Due to multiple business trips recently, I also take some time to think about the problems my team are currently facing.

I gradually realize that speaking up means huge at work. I’m not the type of person who are really good at socializing and getting real close with many colleagues. And this is probably why I should always speaking the truth, no matter who I’m speaking with.

The truth includes problems and challenges I or team are facing, facts and critique, even your personal preference. Because at the end of the day, nobody cares about what you feel, you are the one who are going to suffer.

Speak truth, even if that means you might get fired. Since there’s no point staying at a company that doesn’t embrace openness and frankness.

Self Discovery

In November, I make a commitment to meditate everyday, also for 30-day challenge video project.

From 10-min, to 20-min and 30-min, I step by step start to feel some the main benefits of meditation. I consider meditation as a way of deep relaxing, stress relief against anxiety.

It completely replaces my nap after lunch, and provides me with a better, more refreshing afternoon. In December, even I have already finished the challenge, but I keep meditating for 20–30 mins on workdays.

Coming to the end of 2019, I’m glad that I made the decision back in May, to post at least a video every month, and make the process of video creating fun, meaningful and inspiring.

I have 21K new bilibili subscribers, six 30-day challenge videos, and 3 product management interview videos; I also learn more about video scripting, onsite/b roll shooting, editing, lighting and color grading, but most importantly, I find the meaning of creating video content:

Searching for mental clarity by making films.

You can have many other ways to articulate your ideas and thoughts, but so far I find video is the best format I prefer and am able to produce.

But there’re still 2 big unchangeable facts or challenges:

1. Produce more videos per month.

In order to keep the video quality and my style and feel, the video currently cannot be edited by nobody by myself.

This limits my production period for each project, even I’m squeezing all the minutes I have after day job, work on video until 2–3am every day, I’m only able to guarantee 1 or 2 videos published on channels, since I usually also have sound design and color grading for each video, which most people will just skip it.

To grow the channel more aggressively and rapidly, I need to at least post a video every week.

But I know I’m on the right track. Doing video only for the love of doing it, and keep it up for 3 years, let’s see where I can end up being.

I also cancel the sponsorship for the channel, because at this stage, it does more harm than good to the channel, and I’m not that desperate for money, to the point where I need to sacrifice my love, my thoughts and quality. The channel values something more than that.

2. Video shooting

Usually I have many scenes and shots in mind, but does not have the right person to help me shoot the scene, since I also need to be the actor of my videos.

Besides those tripod scenes, some slow-motion shots following me walking around the city, or doing challenge-related stuff could be really nice. This month challenge is rapping, and I really need someone could follow me doing some movement shots.

If you happen to be in Shenzhen, and also interested in photography and cinematography, please hit me up. Let’s see how we can collaborate, I can teach you everything I know.

What I’m Digesting

1. Stillness Is The Key — Ryan Holiday

“All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”

This book brings me the awareness of stillness and having self conversation. They are the foundation of a lot of things. When I’m sitting here writing this self reflection as usual, when I’m editing my videos and when I’m underwater swimming, they are all counted as a form of stillness.