Monthly Review of May, 2017
What you do everyday more than what you do once in a while.
Welcome to the No. 18 Edition of
THE REVIEW ARMY
May — Focus on Long Term Learning
What is long term learning? I guess probably only I know what it means. Long term learning usually takes you more time unitl you reach a certain point.
For example, you make a goal of create a website of your own from scratch, including the design, coding and more. Or it could also be you are preparing for the final thesis, which usually takes you couple months to do research, or even longer.
This is what May is all about. I started a project called 30-day Tinder Experiment, which I will mention later in this article. And the surprise is that I meet my current girlfriend at the end of May, which makes this long term learning one of the best decision I’ve ever made.
In the mean time, I also started learning html, css again. Becasue my goal for June is to launch my personal website which I designed half a year ago.
What I’m Reading
So I purchased the new book from Adam Grant and Sheryl Sandburg, Option B at the end of last month, and finished it yesterday. I don’t think it’s good timing for me to read this book, but I made the decision to finish it only because this is not like what I used to read, but it is written by my 3 favorite authors.
The first 100 pages are really heartbreaking and I cried several times, even I haven’t experienced any lost of family and close friends. But I cannot imagine how it would be when I lose someone I really care about. And I have no clue what to do next, even I’m pretty much on my own now.
I think the only thing we can do right now is to be present, treasure every moment you have, and cherish the most important people around you.
Here’re some quotes from the book I want to share:
Happiness is the frequency of positive experiences, not the intensity.
Gratitude is passive: it makes us feel thankful for what we receive.
Contribution is active: they build our confidence by reminding us that we can make a difference.
Four core beliefs every child should develop:
1. they have some control over their lives;
2. they can learn from failure;
3. they matter as human beings;
4. they have real strengths to rely on and share.
I also find my ultimate reason of why I write and share online:
You’d think sharing would slow you down, but it takes time and energy to hide things. Being more open personally led people to be more open professionally.
I also start seeing a girl at the end of May, this is something I need to consider if we decide to do long distance serious relationship:
In the couples whose marriages lasted, instead of escalating negativity, both partners shower humor and affection. They too responsibility for their problems and found ways to compromise. They sent signals that even though they were fighting, at a deeper level, they were okay.
What I’m Doing
A 30-day Tinder Experiment
As my promise in the last monthly review, I did Tinder experiment. (Not only tinder, but all tinder-like apps)
My purpose is to understand deeper about the users on these platforms, and I listed these goals at the beginning of this month:
1. Meet 10 girls in person
2. 1+ hour online chatting every day
3. Improve my EQ and become good at chatting
4. Share my experience with an article
I didn’t like every one to get more potential targets, but only swipe right if I do like this person and consider we could be friends after the meeting. That’s why I only have 49 matches in total, but I only end up meeting 3 of them.
I have to stop the experiment, because I have no idea meeting my current girlfriend on the third date I got from Tinder, which is a bonus of my experiment.
However, I did sum up what I learn from here on my Chinese blog:
People are looking for a sense of achievement being liked by others, a basic human physiology of being accompanied by the opposite sex, and a fluke mind of having a cinematic romance.
And these people could be sort into 3 main categories:
Hookup
Looking for Affairs(dates, friends or hookup)
Friends Only
Believe it or not, here’s what I find out:
Girls
Hookup: 18%, Affairs: 77%, Friends: 5%
Boys
Hookup: 39%, Affairs: 60%, Friends: 1%
I posted this article on my Chinese blog last weekend, and immerdiatly got 1,800 views and 80 comments. Understand what you readers’ wants on mobile platform, is also a must for every writers and bloggers.
2. A Short Trip to the Beach
3. Learning Cantonese through Music
After I moved to Shenzhen, I decided to learn Cantonese. Maybe not speaking perfectly Cantonese, but to understand other’s language.
Although Shenzhen locates next to Hong Kong, but there aren’t too many Cantonese speakers since it’s an immigrant city. Chinese people love karaoke, if you have ever been here, you know how crazy it is.
Now I’m super familiar with 5 Cantonese songs.
4. Visiting my Parents back home
At the end of May, there’s a traditional Chinese festival called Dragon Boat. I made the decision going back to Xi’an and visit my parents at the last minute, and booked the flight tickets.
3 days may be short for family, but I managed to visit a lot of people back home, and also playing drones with my parents.
What I’m Writing
Who are we, as 90s?
This article was originally inspired by a post I read on Harvard Business Review, then similar thing happens to me. A friend of mine called me, complaining about her current situation at a startup, and how unhappy she is.
But she’s not quitting. I think in every generation, some people may lose themselves, while some people may thrive from the obstacles.
The old cannot judge a generation by the people they see, and the young cannot always think old people are too picky and judgmental for them.
As 90s, I think we may have to redefine hardworking and passion for lives. In the mean time, I hope old people could provide more space, patience and tolerance. Because at the end of the day, the world is the one who benefits the most.
This article only got 1,200 views on my blog, but then 2 weeks later, a prestigious publication on WeChat reposted it, and immediately attracted nearly 40k views.
What’s next?
My current thoughts on next month is really simple:
1. Launching my website
2. Balancing my work&life with my girlfriend
She’s leaving to NYC this August, so we may have to do long distance relationship. This time I want to be proactive and protect our relationship.
As a product manager, product feature list and requirement documents are something helps you launch a good product; I also created a life feature list and requirement documents for myself to make sure I could be a winner in the long term.
So this time I’m thinking, what does a dating feature list or requirement documents look like, and how they help couples stay in love even when they are physically not together. Sounds crazy right?
“What you do everyday more than what you do once in a while.”
Warm Regards,
Zake
